Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Firecall at Yahoo Trending

Okay, okay.
So habang inaantay ko tong lecheng pagkatagal tagal na Firecall, magboblog muna ako. SO, what is Firecall you might ask? Bilang isang security person ng IT chenez, ako ang taga pahiram ng power user. Power user equals bumbero. Fire equals malaking issue. Firecall equals pagpapahiram ko ng power user sa kanila. So ayun.

So habang nagchecheck ako ng twitter hashtags, inisip ko kung may Yahoo Trending Topics pa. Apparently meron pa. Apparently may gumagamit pa ng Yahoo as a search engine. Apparently may namomodus pa pala na "Make Yahoo my Default Search Engine". Apparently. Apparently rin, namiss ko boses ni Brian McKnight. Apparently may Youtube si Brian McKnight na mala tutorial teaching kung paano tugtugin ang hits niya. Apparently nalulungkot pa rin ako sa kantang Anytime. 

Anyway.
Sabi ko sa sarili ko, why not buy time at magpopost ako sa mga Trending Topic chuchu ng Yahoo. Just to check kung socially aware ko slash chismosa. And to show proof, eto:


1. Kim Kardashian

TABS' OPINION: Wala akong pake kay Kim Kardashian. Hindi ko rin magets bakit siya naging sikat at naging fashion whatever. Hindi ko rin gets bakit sila yumaman. Alam ko, PA siya ni Paris Hilton at binubully siya nila ni Paris at ni Nicole Richie dun sa reality show nila na The Simple Life. Yeah, yeah. Don't judge pinanuod ko. Kasi ang tanga tanga nilang dalawa. Pero ang point nito is, sobrang low life lang ni Kim nun. As in sinasabi lang nila Paris na pakangkang siya and all. At mukha namang social climber siya kasi pinilit niyang maging friends sila nila Paris.

YAHOO's OPINION: OMFFGGGG. Nanganak pala siya?? Second son?! Whaaaaat. Buntis pala ULIT siya? Hulul??? See ganun ako kawalang pake sa kanya. Wala pa daw name ang second child. Baka East.

2. South China Sea

TABS' OPINION: Well this is a very sensitive issue. Eto ang tanong na hinihintay kong tinanong kay Alma "Pills" Moreno. Baka nacardiac arrest yun or biglang sumayaw mala Loveliness. Or biglang nagtanggal ng pants at magshow off ng tangga.

YAHOO's OPINION: Okay. Pinindot ko. Let me try to summarize in key words. US. Spy. Planes. Singapore. China.

3.Tunku Abdul Jalil

TABS' OPINION: SINOOOoooooo??

YAHOO's OPINION: Awwww. Prince siya ng Malaysia (ata?) na namatay due to cancer. 1990 siya pinanganak. At malupit ang advocacy niya sa animals.

4. Miss Earth 2015

TABS' OPINION: Okay fine. As a self declared transgendered gay man (baklang nakulong sa katawan ng babae), I somewhat follow Miss Universe. Although hindi pa naman ako umabot sa minemorize ko ang winners since nung nagstart. Anyway, I know I will be a failure sa bakla society if I say I don't follow Miss Earth. Feeling ko kasi charoz lang ang pageant na yan. Hindi ko mafeel ang prestige. Chos.

YAHOO's OPINION: Hindi na ako nagatubiling pindutin. Oo na nanalo na Pinas. Pagpasok ko pa lang sa office sinabi na sa akin nga mga bakla. Apparently may memo na kumalat na i-disperse ang information na yan ASAP.

5. Selena Gomez

TABS' OPINION: Natatangahan ako kay Selena Gomez. Hindi ko magets bakit siya bumabalik kay Justin Bieber. Baka sabihin niyo yung nude pic ni Justin. And I don't buy the overhauled Justin Bieber keme keme. Feeling ko charchar lang siya to sell ang album. Anyway, going back to Selena. 

YAHOO's OPINION: Apparently nagdedate si Selena Gomez at Niall Horan the One Direction Guy without the tattoos. So I guess BFF nga sila ni Taytay?

6. EPL Results

TABS' OPINION: Eto ba yung Hair Laser Removal thing??? Ay IPL pala yun.

YAHOO's OPINION: Ahhh ew, Soccer. Sports. No.

7. David Beckham

TABS' OPINION: See picture below
YAHOO's OPINION: Something to do with FIFA. Ew. Sports. No.

8. Tanglin Halt Road Accident

TABS' OPINION: So sabi ko. Ah Tanglin Halt? Sure hindi sa Pinas yan. My guess is... Singapore?

YAHOO's OPINION: YES SINGAPORE NGA! May car accident sa street na yan. Ayun.

9. Rodrigo Duterte

TABS' OPINION: Well, well, well. Marami akong opinion about Duterts. But wag muna kasi hindi pa naman final final na tatakbo siya or kung makakatakbo siya. Ang masasabi ko lang, ang payummy niya. 

YAHOO's OPINION: No, let's not click on this. Siguro naman majority alam niyo na ang laman niyan.

10. Malaysia Resorts

TABS' OPINION: Malaysia Resorts? Like mga resort sa Malaysia? Kung san pwede mag stay?

YAHOO's OPINION: Nyeta tama nga. Like mga resorts na pwedeng pagstayan. Wow maraming pupunta ng Malaysia na nagyayahoo??

SO AYAN!
Ayan ang mga top ten chenez sa mga oras na to.
Sana may natutunan kayo at napulot na aral. Kung wala, issue mo na yan.
At yes, hindi pa tapos ang lecheng Firecall na to.
Shet.
Baboo.
-nyabach0i



4 comments:

  1. My Top 10 Chenez Comments:

    1. Kim Kardashian- I would rather appreciate the existence of a used condom than have myself fucked all over with news about Kim Kardashian and all her bullshit.


    2. South China Sea- Whether it's China or other countries, I am quite sure that Philippines will never benefit from the West Philippine Sea. Its exploitation would always be given to others. We think that everything will be better with our sovereignty, but what is our sovereignty to the man of the street?


    3.Tunku Abdul Jalil

    False news daw. Ang issue kasi sa birthday niya mag pardon yata ang Sovereign nila ng 20 convicts. Anyway, the prince is not as cute as the other princes of other Malaysian states. He may as well die.

    4. Miss Earth

    Dunno. Is it ok to be gay and not have any enthusiasm for beauty pageants? I don't even like male beauty pageants. Sorry my dear Federacion!

    5. Selena Gomez- Justin Bieber is not that even sexy or hot. Selena is plain stupid to hook up with that lesbian.

    6. EPL- wtf?

    7. David Beckham- i soooo loooooove his trousers. hahaha! Anyway, soccer guys can be interesting, but I drool over photos of rugby players. Now those are hot studs.

    8. Tanglin Halt Road Accident- What are the chances that there can be a road accident in Singapore, compared to road accidents that happen in the Philippines? One accident for them is a tragedy while one accident in our country is just like, i dunno, another cigarette break, i guess, a cigarette break every 15 minutes.

    9. Rodrigo Duterte

    Please read my entry on this one.

    10. Malaysia Resorts- Ano meron sa resorts nila na wala sa mga resorts natin?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hindi ako ang first comment. :( haha inarte.
    Anyway i tried tlga intindihin ang bumbero analogy... Hindi ko siya gets, feeling ko tuloy ang bobo bobo kooooo

    A2

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kay Duterts lang ako naka-relate. The rest hindi ako aware. nganga

    ReplyDelete
  4. hindi ko rin nagets ang firecall.... metamyelocyte! flow cytometry! philadelphia chromosome!

    ReplyDelete

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